Thoughts On Nonverbal Communication

Not many people realize it, but non-verbal communication is way more important than the words you speak or write. People can feel what you’re feeling and thinking, long before you open your mouth. Your attitude shows up in your posture, your facial expression, even the way you breathe!

One major negative nonverbal cue that silently shouts from your being is anxiety. This feeling may come across as desperation, which is a definite turn-off. Desperation makes people want to avoid you, flee as soon as possible. The root of desperation is fear, so you need to explore your feelings of fear, anxiety, of not being worthy of what you seek. Awareness is the beginning of resolving these issues, but to really give off positive energy, you need to find something to feel good about.

Still skeptical?

Consider this. Can you tell when you’re with someone whether they’re feeling up or down? Of course you can. Now, with which kind of people do you prefer to do business — confident, joyful, optimistic people, or depressed victimized folks?

My former husband, Leandro, used to tell this story. A man needed to borrow a lawn-mower from his neighbor. But he feared that the neighbor would tell him “no.” He kept thinking of all the rejection he would face when he asked the neighbor for his lawnmower as he walked to the man’s home. By the time he got to the neighbor’s house, he simply shouted, “Just keep your old, dirty lawnmower. I don’t even need it, anyway.”

While the story exaggerates what usually happens, it does give a valuable lesson: what you communicate to yourself, you also communicate to others, even if it’s unintentional.

So what do you want to project? Probably confidence, happiness, abundance, and good will. How can you transmit these positive emotions, when frankly, you don’t feel too well, and you’re anxious, nervous, and downright scared. What you can do is find something to feel good about. It could be gratitude for your family, indoor plumbing, effective heating, or even candy corn.

Emotions are so strong that research by Japanese Dr. Masaru Emoto did a study that demonstrated that emotions affect the crystallization of water. In his study, positive or negative emotions were directed toward water before it was frozen. Images of the resultant water crystals were either beautiful or ugly, corresponding to positive or negative emotions.

That’s pretty consequential when you consider that the human body is more than 90% water. If you’re not feeling too positive, I have one reminder for you: Attitude of Gratitude!

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