The Help You Dread Asking For

I observed this during a lunch with two awesome friends last week: really and truly, so many of us hate asking for help.

I hate to admit it but I don’t ask for help nearly as often as I could. I love thinking I am the ultimate super woman completely independent and self-sufficient. It sometimes takes a near-breakdown experience for me to realize I could use some help.

The irony is that we love it when people ask for our help. I am so pleased when friends and clients ask me for help with any issue really, but especially what Christina and I call communication “tissues.”

If you ask for some one’s help, you automatically show that person that she is valued.

You also give that person the opportunity to give in a way that is unique.

Even if the person you ask feels inadequate to comply with your request, he is still pleased to be asked.

Yet, we can be so reluctant to “bother” people — mostly because we fear appearing weak, incompetent, or rejected.

It reminds me of a story my grandmother told me last week. She was giving me some of her vintage couture items, and she mentioned that the sleeves would all be too short for me. Years ago, when she shopped at this fancy boutique (she was a regular customer), the expert alterations lady would adjust the sleeves to be too short for her. Did my grandmother ever mention this, or ask that they be fixed, or remind the lady to not keep making that same mistake?

Unfortunately, she did not. She was afraid of “bothering” either the alterations lady or the boutique owner, and over the years paid thousands of dollars on clothes which would be altered to have the sleeves just a bit too short.

Think of three areas or situations in which you could use some help. And go ask for it.


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