Define Your Preferences in Detail

If you’re like me, when you were younger, still enjoying that delicious age of “infinite wisdom,” you may have scoffed at people who talked about “knowing who you really are.” I mean, how stupid is that?

Turns out, Her Smartness, it’s not stupid at all.

There was a reason Socrates said something like, “The beginning of wisdom is self knowledge.”

It’s easy to know yourself generally. Like your favorite color and television show. And you want to have lots of money and plenty of time to do stuff in it.

But, if that were what made people happy, you wouldn’t have celebrity suicides, or Lindsay Lohan would not have spent so much time in rehab.

It’s been something that’s come up unexpectedly in my work with my coach. I hired a coach for one reason — to build my business, and several months into our work she starts asking me to write lists of my preferences.

So, I do. I have lists and lists of lists. I know pretty clearly what kind of work I like to do, and am good at, what’s really really really important to me (like having TONS of downtime) and how I like to spend my money. I want to travel, but not that often. I want a new car, but not a brand-new one. I have very specific trips (London in June) and cars (Honda CRV) in mind.

The weirdest thing is, I’ve become a more powerful person. I state my preferences more quickly and get more of them. If someone asks me anything, I no longer EVER say, “it doesn’t matter to me where we eat lunch”. Well, actually I have wimped out a couple of times, and lived to regret it. Mostly, I say, I prefer grilled fish for lunch.

Clarity makes you more confident. Confidence is money in your bank.

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