The Art of Being Your Own Best Friend

You know you couldn’t get by without your buddies – they’re there for you. You know what I mean; we love to read these forwarded messages about how much our friends really mean to us.

Being your own BFF doesn’t take away from these wonderful relationships; they only get stronger when you get on your own side.

It was one of my coaches who helped me see this. It’s not that I thought I was not being  friendly to myself, I really never had thought about friendship and myself in that way.

These are some signs you’re NOT being on your own side:

* You put other people on pedestals and think they’ve got everything together.

* You’re the first one to criticize yourself….and oh so harshly (you idiot!)

* You think other people know what is best for you.

(A symptom of this is always seeking everyone’s opinion on everything before you take any action.)

* You never invest in yourself. You think other people can invest your money better than you can.

* You don’t do special things for yourself. You think that other people close to you should do nice things for you because you do nice things for them. The thing is, life doesn’t work that way — as I found out the hard way. People follow your example — how you treat yourself.

One of the most fun aspects of working as a coach for others is giving my clients permission to trust themselves, and to take special care of themselves. It is so exciting to hear when one buys new bedside lighting for her bedroom, something she had wanted for years, but hadn’t bothered to buy such a “luxury” for herself.

Other clients have done things for themselves like buying expensive tickets to special events, cooking classes, fancy hair salons and hiring someone to clean their homes.

You will be delighted how much more other people appreciate you….when you’re your own best friend!

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5 responses to “The Art of Being Your Own Best Friend

  1. wow! #3 really hit home for me. I don’t do that anymore because I know I am ultimately the one responsible for myself and I get to take credit when things go well, too!

  2. #1 – something I’ve never understood is this hero worship stuff for “movie stars” and politicians and athletes, etc. Good grief – they’re just people …

  3. Thanks, Carrie and Sally. Good to hear from you. Putting people on pedestals….it was Christine who pointed out that I was doing that – not with celebrities but with colleagues.

    Thinking other people know what’s best for you??? I think I had issues with authority and that’s why that construct dominates my dissertation!

  4. #3 Esta creencia se refuerza cuando hay personas alrededor nuestro que están absolutamente convencidas que saben más de nuestra vida que nosotras mismas. Los últimos años he aprendido a escuchar las sugerencias de este tipo de personas pero les dejo saber que eso no quiere decir que voy a hacer lo que me dicen.

    • Hola Marta! Te voy a contestar en ingles. Friends, Martha is saying that #3 gets tricky when there are people around you who seem totally convinced that they know what is right for you. I certainly know about that! Their apparent conviction makes it easy for you to question your own thoughts and preferences. It’s a matter of listening, and then getting some space for yourself to really reflect on what course of action to take.

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