Category Archives: paradigms

Use the Power of Your Pen to Propel Yourself Forward

(NOTE: The new web site is just about ready. Click here to see it.)

One option would be to write an international bestseller and make a windfall.

But that’s only one way to leverage your journal.

If you’re like most high-achieving women, you  know you’re not motivated by money, really. You value wealth, not as a status symbol, but for what it can do for the people in your life. That’s why so many new micro-loan programs for developing countries are geared towards women; they’re more productive with the money they earn.

On the other hand, it’s the lack of wealth that keeps you from doing a lot of things you’d like to do for yourself, your family and your community.

You also know that, while you’ve got so much to be grateful for, you’ve got a much bigger contribution to make.

So, let’s make it happen.

Before I explain this tool for creating wealth, I want to remind you how powerful our minds are. The most recent issue of Forbes features an excellent article on the incredible power of placebos. It turns out that placebos are even more powerful for relieving pain and nausea than previously realized. Researchers have done brain scans showing that the same chemical reaction takes place in the brains of the drug recipients AND the placebo recipients. Another finding is that patients respond favorably to rituals as part of a medical treatment. No joke!

In the spring of 2008, I began using my journal seriously to create a better life for me and my children. I had been writing in my journal before then, but I learned from an e-course I was taking that I really could script a more attractive future. And how much fun is that!

One of the things I was most clear about was that I wanted to move. I wasn’t sure where, but I knew I wanted to be in the South, near a body of water, and I wanted NEW kitchen and laundry appliances. If you look at my vision boards, they are covered with pictures of the ocean, swimming pools, the Mediterranean Sea, water is everywhere. There’s other stuff too, like a fancy new vacuum cleaner, but it’s clear I crave being near water.

But it was the new kitchen and laundry appliances that really captured my imagination. I was living in this ueber charming cottage, a delightful relic from a time where having one bathroom was considered more than enough. (No need for an outhouse!) And my stove was identical to the one on the “I Love Lucy” television program. The dryer, a nice avocado green, had to be cajoled into working. It did dry the clothes, but you had to ask it nicely.

So I began to write about my ideal home. And new kitchen and laundry appliances were always at the top of my list. Having 3 bathrooms was my  next priority.

Well, there’s not space here for the whole story, but on August 16 of last year, I moved into a recently-remodeled swanky condo (there are plenty of ponds with fountains on the grounds ) in an upscale part of Charleston. There is a fantastic beach exactly 5 miles from my house, and there’s a pool here as well.

We also have 3 bathrooms, for the 3 females living here.

You have the same power to manifest good things in your life. It’s a matter of being intentional about it.

Have you used writing to manifest good things in your life?


Setting Delight-O-Meter Goals


If the idea of setting delight-o-meter goals sounds like an oxymoron, set aside your doubt and see what I mean.

In preparing for my Choose Clarity and Confidence for 2010 e-seminar, I have been following my own advice. Which I mostly do.

The first thing I did was my business plan. That was easier than you might think. I have a pretty solid business/marketing plan for next year. I really enjoy the process of developing a marketing plan because that’s where communication know-how works, or doesn’t work.

Then I remembered the rest of me.

I am not ALL business, and neither are you, even if you love what you do.

To keep on encouraging, you have to encourage yourself. To inspire others, you start by inspiring yourself. To really serve your clients, you start by taking extremely good care of yourself: mind and body and spirit.

Not taking care of yourself is what causes burnout, disenchantment and depression. But there’s more to taking care of yourself than simply eating properly and getting enough rest. Getting the bare minimum R and R keeps you running, but not flourishing. Keeping track of your own delight-o-meter maintains your personal source of creativity, inspiration and even healing.

So what kinds of things fill up your delight-o-meter? It’s good to know and to include those activities in your annual plan. Remember the saying, failure to plan means planning to fail. The point is not that your plan will unfold like a Swiss watch, but that it gives your guidance for making good decisions quickly.

So what is fun for you? Could be going to a museum, trying a new restaurant, visiting a fun store (even if  you don’t buy anything.) Or maybe it’s riding a fast boat, watching a NASCAR race, or eating at Sonic. Could also be playing hooky. Or doing something really out of character.

Spontaneity is great. But my experience is that planning for delight in my life is essential. Working comes naturally, having fun is something I have to be intentional about, or I put it off.

Try including delight-o-meter activities into your plan for 2010. I put those together with my plan for health and fitness.

Leadership Paradigms and Potty Training

I was talking to a friend recently who was lamenting another friend’s difficulty with getting her child out of diapers. The child was well into his fourth year, and asking his mom to change his diapers. The ultimate customer for pull-ups and extra extra large diapers.

I was wondering why on earth this mother would want to spend so many extra years buying and changing diapers. But that’s not my problem; according to her leadership paradigm, changing a toddler’s diapers is fine. When and only when the mom decides that she will not change another diaper, the child will learn to use the toilet.

For me, the appropriate age for that change is 2 years old. I went through that with three different children with wildly varying temperaments. I have known moms who potty train their children earlier: their paradigm is different from mine. It’s not the potty training technique; it is the mother’s decision (or that of the child’s primary caretaker.)

It’s the same with other goals. You lose weight when you decide that you will no longer put up with a certain level of overweight – the technique or diet is immaterial. It’s that inner determination that gets you to pick yourself up every time you fall.

You start improving your finances when you determine that you will either create additional sources of income, increase your savings, or both. It’s your decision, not the technique.

It boils down to a question of what you are willing to put up with. If you’re lucky enough to have a baby, dirty diapers is part of the picture, but after two years of that, it’s your call to end it.